Christmas time is here!!

Yup, it's definitly Christmas time!! I'm excited!

I turned 19 last Thursday...so Dec 17th. Doesn't feel any different than 18 =]
Finished my Christmas shopping early...YES!! Now I just have to finish a couple things I need to make and wrap the rest of them and I'm ready!

Our choir preformed our Christmas Musical this morning...I think we did a pretty good job haha!!

All in all...I think it's gonna be a great two weeks off!!!


I love them!

Thanksgiving!

I have to apologize for failing miserably at this whole blogging thing haha...
I did really well for quite a while...then school and work started again and it just got REALLY busy, like more busy then I've ever been haha, and it just kinda slipped away. Well here's me telling you that I'm going to try harder to keep it somewhat updated again...which I've said before...but I really am going to try!

So I registered for next semester today...holy moly! Should be an interesting semester...hopefully better then this one's been. NO PSYCHOLOGY next semester though!!! That's a HUUUUUUGE plus!

Anyways...
Thursday's Thanksgiving! I'm excited! I love Thanksgiving. I get to go to Chico and see my mommy!! But last Thursday night was our LIGHT meeting and Carmen challenged us to do an ABC's of thanks...so I'm going to do that! It's gonna make for a long blog but oh well =]

I'm thankful for..

A. Amanda
B. Bible
C. Church
D. Diabetes (be thankful in all circumstances...right?)
E. EMILY DAVIS!!
F. Friends and Family
G. Grandparents...truly amazing grandparents!
H. Home
I. Ice Cream
J. Job or JESSICA KOCH!!!
K. ...Yea...drawin' a blank..
L. Life
M. Michael McGehee or music
N. NICOLE MCCARTY!!
O. Opinions (the ability and right to have my own)
P. Parents
Q. Quiet times (however rare they may be ;])
R. (my) Rabbit
S. School
T. Technology
U. Understanding friends and family
V. Vitamins (give me a break...can you come up with a better v?)
W. Water
X. ...this is a near impossible letter to find something for...
Y. Yellow sun ( =] )
Z. Zebras (lol)


That is incredibly hard...and i only didn't do two letters...I challenge everybody to do one of these...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

yikes!

Wow...it's been FOREVER since I've written on here...yikes!! My bad!! Been a little busy lately with school and work and...more school haha. But it's a minimum week this week and I'm exhausted so I'll fill ya in later =]

I'm really not sure...

...exactly how I'm going to keep up with my blog haha. I honestly have no time for anything anymore haha. School and work are craaaazy!!!! But I miss writing about what's going on..even if there's not a lot going on.

There was an earthquake like 10 minutes ago...just a little jolt that shook my house a little...scared the crap out of me haha. Crazy stuff.

BUSY!!!

Between school, work, and extracurricular activities...I have been crazy busy...and therefore have not written on here for a week. Yikes! Sorry about that. But honestly with being so busy I really don't have that much to write haha. There's school...boring, somewhat good at times, somewhat bad at times, and stressful...there's work...which I LOVE!! and there's the extra curricular things...which just fill in all my free time haha. That's pretty much it.

But I'll need prayer tomorrow for psychology...have our first test and I'm thinking I'm not going to do a very good job haha.

Oaktree.

I absolutely LOVE my job! I couldn't ask for a better or more fun job. I love the people I work with, I love the kids we watch...I love everything about it!!! My job makes me extremely happy..even if it does leave me tired and drained pretty much every day of the week haha. It's so worth it! I am so thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to work at Oaktree and for all the events that He led me through to get there...


A few of my kiddos!


Crazy faces!!


Legos!


Watching a movie!


More movie watching!

Waste of gas.

Holy cow...

So I went to school Monday and sat through my class...then I went to work and went to Psychology after work. Long, tiring day. Tuesday I drive out to school and oh class is cancelled...teacher's sick. Ok, that's alright. Went out to school Wednesday morning and walk into class. The teacher's standing there and says "I'm not feeling so well today. Sign in and then you can leave." Ah. That's the second day in a row class was cancelled...I'm wasting the gas I don't have money to buy haha. So I drive out to class today totally expecting the teacher to be there...nope. She's still sick. NO CLASS. Gosh I wasted 3/4 of a tank of gas this week driving out to class to find it cancelled haha. Not that I'm complaining because I only had class once this week...but it is kind of annoying....

Nick Sanders

Today...is a tough day.

One year today Nick Sanders died. I've watched all year as my friends have handled what happened so well...I've watched them grown in so many different ways and I've seen them be stronger then even they could've imagined. And I couldn't be more proud!

I wonder if I've grown as much as they have, or if I've handled this whole thing with as much strenght and courage as they have...I know withtout them I wouldn't have gotten through it like I did.

I miss Nick. I miss Nick's smile, his laugh, the way he would sometimes get all shy and quiet, and at other times he could be loud and crazy...I look back and there's so many "what if's"...but it's too late for "what if's". God has done some great things with this tragedy and I couldn't be more thankful. It hurts...alot. But I know that I just need to look to God and get my strength from him. Nick was an awesome guy...always ready to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on...he was great with kids and his smile would always brighten your day and make you smile too. I wish Nick was still here...getting ready to graduate and go to college...but he's not, and by the grace of God I'm coming to a point where I'm finally realizing that, and am slowly, very slowly, moving on.

STRESS!!!

Wow it's been a while since I've written. Been super busy since school and work started!! This whole school AND work thing is extremely exhausting!!! Holy moly. So I apologize now for not keeping up with writing haha...because I have a feeling that I'm not going to be able to write everyday. Oops. Can't really help it though haha.

So I was going on a mission's trip to Vancouver, Canada for the olympics in February...but that go cancelled. Oh well...God must have different plans!

Babysitting tonight. 3 very cute kids haha!! I'm excited!
So yea...

The Da Vinci Code..

So I decided to read The Da Vinci Code...it's actually got some really interesting stuff in it. But it's also got some stuff in it that's not so good. Stuff about God that if you really aren't firm in your faith may cause you to doubt some of the stuff that we learn at church. So just a warning...if you're going to read it just know that there is some controversial stuff in it....and some stuff that if you really don't know much about Christ could cause you to be confused.

On another note...finished my first week back at work...I'm exhausted. I'm ready to get back into the routine of things haha. But school starts Monday so it's going to take some time to get used to the new schedule...yipee!

Was I ready??

Today was the first day of work...
I. Am. Exhausted. I really don't know if I was completely ready for today haha but it actually went rather well I'd say...

I wonder...

So work starts Wednesday...I'm excited!! Can't wait to meet all the new kiddies...thought I do have to wonder how many new kids we're getting. Should be an interesting first day.

We're painting my room tomorrow!! I'm stoked. It's going to be amazing!! I'm super excited!!!! These are the colors!



Getting my hair cut Tuesday morning...short. I'm a little apprehensive about it...but I'm excited at the same time! Here's a picture.



This week's a big week of change! It's exciting!!

Frisco!!

Yup. Tomorrow Nicole, Emily, and I are going to Frisco to see Wicked!! This was my 18th birthday present haha!! I'm excited!

New...

So...my room is going to be painted and improved!! I'm excited...kinda getting tired of the bright pink walls I've had since I was like 12. Not exactly sure what I'm gonna do yet...any suggestions??

Also...thinking of getting a new hair cut. Going for a shorter style. What do you think??

I think I'm at the time in my life where I'm ready to grow up and move on...move away from the things that have been hindering me and actually focus on the things that are important...like getting into school and actually working my way towards a career...even if I'm not so sure about what that career's going to be yet. It's definitly time!

His will.

That's what I strive to live. God's will for my life. I've had to make some of the hardest decisions of my life in the past year and I had to make the most painful one last night. I am heartbroken...but I know that it was the right thing to do. I just wish I could've spared the heart and feelings of the person I hurt...and I apologize to him. I just hope that things can be ok between us again eventually...even if they aren't now.


I'm sorry.

Confused..

I have so many things running through my head right now...I don't even know what to think. I pretty much just wanna cry. This summer's been one of the best of my life...but some of the things that have happened have made me second guess some things and now I'm all mixed up. Ugh!


God I need your help right now! More then anything!! Direct my thoughts and my actions in the way You want them to go!! I don't want to make any mistakes with the decisions I'm making at this point in my life!! Amen!

Holy cow!

It's been a reeeeeeeallyyy long time since I've written anything haha. My bad!! I have to be honest...I have been seriously busy the past few weeks. Wow!! This has been the most amazing summer of my entire life...BY FAR!!
So I don't remember the last time I wrote so I can't remember what the last thing I wrote about was haha so I'm just going to start somewhere and hope I haven't already written about it haha.

My family went houseboating at lake don pedro the last week of July. It was such a great week!! Very relaxing. Very fun!! Definitly didn't want to leave.
The Monday after we got back a big group of us (Jeremy, Jake, Melissa, Debbie, Debbie's boyfriend, Jessica, Nicole, Shaun, Julie, and Cooper) went out to the fair in Turlock to see the Newsboys. It was a blast! Quite an adventure haha...we didn't get home until like 1:30 AM. Craziness! Wednesday Matt, Liz, Jessica and I went out to the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk. Fun stuff!! Thursday I know I did something but for the life of me I can't remember what it was lol. Dang it! Then Friday the college group went to San Fransisco to see the King Tut exhibit thingy. Interesting. And then we(Jessica, Jeremy, Matt, David B., Amanda, Stephen, and I) went to Todd and Sherry's and just hung out for a while. Saturday we had an Office party at Emily's house haha. Overload of The Office...let me tell you. But it was definitly fun. Then yesterday night after church we (Ben, Brian, Matt, Liz, Melissa, Jake, Jeremy, Jessica, Emily, some kid named Robby and I) went and got In N Out and went to my house to just hang out!!! Amazing! It was a goodbye get together for Jeremy who went home this morning. We're all gonna miss him! Anyways...I think I got everything in there haha. Told ya I was busy lol!!

I've been trying to slow down lately and focus on God more. One of my friends reminded me that if God is my co-pilot I need to switch seats!! That's so true! I've got to realize that my life is in God's hands and that it's not up to me to decide what happens.

Well I suppose it's time to go to bed =] But I will try to keep up here from now on haha!

Are you kidding me?

So...I've got a cold! A DAY AND A HALF BEFORE THE HOUSEBOAT....and I've got a cold. Sucks majorly!!

So yea...I will not be able to update my blog until next Friday night...because I will be out in the middle of Lake Don Pedro until then..hopefully I will have cell phone service though. That would be nice!

Holy moly..

I have not been very consistent on here lately haha...and that kinda annoys me. Especially considering I'm on here like all the time...I just seem to never think about blogging haha.

Anywho...what have I been up to??
Well Monday I went to San Fransisco...Golden State Park to the museum/aquarium/planetarium thingy. It was a typical day in Frisco...overcast, windy, cold...BEAUTIFUL!!! But we spent the entire day inside and the place wasn't all I expected it to be. But just the fact that I was in Frisco was good enough to make the day great! Not to mention I got to spend the day with the sisters =]
Tuesday...we didn't do anything...except swimming at Uncle Brian's for about an hour in the afternoon...it was a good relaxing day haha.
Yesterday we went to Great America. We being my grandparents, my sisters, my dad, and myself. There was nobody there...It was amazing haha. But they closed Topgun for the day...which was a major bummer but hey whatever. Then I spent the night at Amanda's house.
So today a big group of us (grandma, sisters, molly, michael, sarah, amanda, and I) are going to see Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Exciting I know.

But yes. That's what's happened since I blogged last...I live an exciting life...I know =]

Oh boy..

I'm an aunt! My stepsister Katie had her baby early this morning.

I get to sing with my dad tonight at church and we haven't even practiced our song once yet...yikes!!!

Had a really fun night last night haha. Jessica, Michael, Jeremy, and I hung out for a few hours...walked the mall, shopped a little bit, and had in n out lol. Fun times!! I definitly think this summer has been one of my favorites by far!!

down in the dumps...

Feeling a little down today...little left out...I really don't know where the feelings came from or why...I don't usually mind when things like that happen, usually pretty chill with the situation but today it was just different...I don't know.

Missing Chris in an extremely emotional rollercoaster sorta way. It's kind of annoying being so stinkin emotional haha. It's at times like this where I'd much rather be a boy. But rejoice in the person that God made me right?? Right!

Very encouraged by Pastor's sermon this morning on hearing. So true! I'm not sure I hear entirely all that I really need to...definitly something to work on. Always good to figure out your short comings. Definitly a necessary thing! You can't grow if you don't know what you're doing wrong, and I definitly want to grow!

Anyways...going to go find something to do. Later!

Cleaning..

Yup. That's what my day was all about. I spent 98% of my day cleaning my room...which really needed it...I'll admit it. It was a mess. It's nice now haha. We're having the TCG over tomorrow night so the house had to be cleaned!!

I'm excited for this next week. I need a recoop week!! I'm looking forward to doing absolutely nothing. I need it after the past couple weeks of just going, going, going haha. My prayers are with the people who have been going, going, going all summer and don't really get a recoop week until all camp's are over (yes I do mean Pastor Jon, and Nicolie haha).

Shawna's going to Pilot Lake for the first time next week. I'm excited and scared for her. I know she'll be fine. And she's going to have a blast!!! I just wish I could go too =/

I miss Chris....alot.
I can't wait to see him again!!!

Exhausting.

VBS is extremely that. I am so stinking tired it's unbelievable. Haha it's 8:35 and I'm ready for bed...

Wow.

It's definitly been a while since I wrote on here haha. Been pretty busy.

Disneyland was amazing!! One of the best vacations of my life haha. Emily and I had a blast! Pictures can be seen on facebook haha.

And VBS...wow. What an experience. It's such an awesome opportunity. I absolutely love children. But it is incredibly exhausting!!

I got my laptop back. Which I really really like having haha. It's hard not having a computer to go on whenever you need to haha.

Other than that...not much has happened. So yea, I'll try to keep it updated from now on haha.

busy busy busy!

So tomorrow I get to go to the lake with some of the coolest people EVER!! It's gonna be amazing!!

Then Sunday afternoon I leave for Disneyland!!!!! Super excited...so I'm writing this to say that I may not be on here for like...another week haha. But don't worry. I'll have plenty to write about when I get back!!

flower or heart...

That was my dilemma today when I got my nails done.. wasn't sure which one to get put on my ring fingers! So I compromised...flower made out of hearts haha!! It's super cute!

On another note...Michael Jackson died! Crazy!! Well they say they always die in 3's...Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and MJ.

Yea. We went to golf land today. Waterslides=great for hot days!! Got to see Jordan and Billy...miss them like crazy! Miss all my kiddies from daycare =/ but no worries...school will start sooner then I want it to haha!!

Ahhh..

So my laptop's broken for the time being...that would be why I haven't been blogging lately. Wow. I didn't realize how much of my internet obsession came from the fact that I have a laptop which means that I can be online all the time...My laptop breaks and I realize that yes...there is life beyond the internet haha!! That's not to say that when my laptop gets fixed I still won't be online all the time because chances are...I'll go right back to where I was before my laptop broke! Gee I hope that made sense lol.

Anyways...went to great america this week. Shawna rode Top Gun/Flightdeck for the first time!! Pretty exciting stuff! She's growing up sooo fast.

I really don't have anything else to write about haha. You'd think I would since it's been like a week but no. I can't remember if I wrote about our exciting adventure to Santa Cruz so I'll check and get back to ya on that one haha. Later!

Been a few days..

Yup..haven't blogged in quite a few days...oops! So I guess I need to catch up..though there really isn't much to catch up on haha.

Sunday...I was sick. Went to church and felt like I was going to lose everything I'd eaten in the past day or so. Didn't. So that's good! Did a quartet with my dad and sisters Sunday night. Very fun!!
Monday...We went to the movies. Saw Imagine That! It was hecka cute...I'd highly recommend it.
Tuesday...we went to the park. But I wasn't feeling so good so I don't really remember too much about it...darn!
That brings me to today...haven't really done anything today yet. But that's ok. Chill days are awesome too!!


I just love summer!!

Miss Chris more then ever!! Love him like crazy!!

Anywho...I'll try to keep you updated!

Ick.

I don't feel good.

Summer '09

It's summer!!! YAY!

So we went to Jacob's graduation today...that was awesome!! We had like the best group ever haha. Too much fun and if today was any indication of how my summer's going to turn out...it's going to be the best summer so far!! Or at least a close second!! I'm excited to see how the summer's going to play out!

Woohoo!!

It's summer!!!!!!! Today was the last day of work until August! I'm kinda bummed and I'm really gonna miss the kiddies but it is nice to have a 2.5 month break haha!

Emily's coming over tonight...I'm so tired but I have to stay awake lol!! Right. We'll see how that goes! Chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast...my favorite!!

One day.

I have ONE day left of work!! And we get to go get frozen yogurt...that's kind of exciting haha!

I'm gonna miss the little kiddies this summer =/ But it'll be a good break =]

So tired..

Honestly I didn't know it was possible to be this tired...and I don't even know WHY I'm this tired, that's the weirdest thing haha. But then you may look at the time I post this and be like so if she's that tired why is she posting a blog at this time lol...well that's a very good question and I believe the answer has something to do with the fact that I like to wait up until at least 11 to see if Chris is going to call or get online but I really don't know lol.

Yea I'm not sure exactly why I'm explaining all of this...that's how tired I am lol

I get to take my check from the insurance company down to Frontier Ford tomorrow!! Yay!! I'm so happy about this whole new car thing. I absolutely adore my car...like you really have no idea haha!! Anyways...I'm going to get ready for bed now! Night!

Anniversary.

Today was Oaktree's 25th anniversary. It actually went quite well. Seemed like everybody had a pretty good time. Definitly worth all the work everyone put into it!

Thank you to all who worked so very hard and made today so very special!

What a Saturday.

Annual CPP meeting this morning...
lunch with the grandparents...
flower shopping for my uncle's yard with my grandparents...
grocery shopping...with my grandparents...
and who knows what's going to happen later today haha!

Only took a month...

but I GOT MY NEW CAR TODAY!!! It's amazing! I love it! I couldn't be happier with it!!!

Superman!

Bet you thought he didn't exist huh??

Well I'm about to let you in on a little secret...I know him personally! He's my daddy!!
Really though, his is my superman. I couldn't love him anymore!!

Want to know another secret.. Chris is my superman too! Yea, I'm lucky. Two supermen in my life...couldn't get much better than that right?


I love them!!

My sister..

is graduating tomorrow....wow. I'm super excited for her!!! So needless to say there probably won't be a post on here for a couple days but no worries...I'll be back =]

Possible to impossible.

So I found this quote and I absolutely love it!!!!

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible."
-Arthur C. Clarke


It's so true. If we only live our lives doing what's possible for us...we'll never reach our full potential...at least that's what I think haha.

16 hour..

time difference between here and Korea....











SUCKS!!!!

Pathetic..

How pathetic is it that on a Saturday night an 18 year old girl is exhausted and has nothing to do?? IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT!! I'm sposed to hang out with a friend or see a movie or just something...but no...I sit at home, watch tv, surf the net, and go to bed haha...horrible.

My own...

So...I'm ready to live my own life now. I'm ready to come out from under the wings of my grandparents. I'm ready to do things on my own and not have my grandma and grandpa do everything for me. Don't get me wrong...I love them. They've been as much of my life as my parents have. But I'm 18 and I'm ready get out there and do things for myself...

Not now!

Why...of all times...do I have to feel like I'm getting sick?? Right before summer break? WHAT IS THIS??

Poor Nicolie's been sick for like 3 weeks now...and her mom isn't feeling so good either. Poor McCarty's =/ I hope they feel better ASAP =]

Long day today...I really rather dislike Wednesdays...minimum days...just toooo long! Then I come home and I'm all tired and cranky (well only cranky sometimes =]) and then I have to go to the gym...hm. Oh well. It builds character!

SUMMER!!!

I can't wait for summer...like you have no idea!! I enjoy my job...wouldn't trade it for anything...but I need my 3 month break. Sucks that I don't get paid but whatever that can be dealt with haha. I'm super excited for this summer...no telling what all is gonna happen!

Disneyland in June. VBS and houseboating in July. And so much more with Emily and Nicolie!!
Great America, swimming, beach, Santa Cruz beach boardwalk, San Fransisco, Marine World...oh there's so much to do!

There's only one problem with this whole summer...Chris is in Korea...and that's ENTIRELY too far away =/

=]

Hope everybody's having a marvelous memorial day!! It's all about bbq and swimming, right?? Well for most people anyways lol.


Keep our troops in your prayers! Thanks to all who are serving and who have served before. Freedom isn't free..

I just had to...

I was talking to Chris a little while ago and he was giving me a hard time because he'd blogged today and I hadn't...so...here's my blog for the day!


=]]

Memorial Day...just in case you didn't know =]

Memorial Day is a US federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May (May 25 in 2009). Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the civil war), it was expanded after World War I to include American casualties of any war or military action.



It came about when the freed slaves disinterred the dead Union soldiers from the mass grave to be inhumed properly reposed with individual graves, built a fence around the graveyard with an entry arch, declaring it a Union graveyard. A daring action for freed slaves to take such in the South just shortly after the Union's victory. On May 30, 1868, the freed slaves returned to the graveyard with flowers they had picked from the countryside and decorated the individual gravesites, thereby creating the first Decoration Day. Thousands of freed blacks and Union soldiers paraded from the area, followed by much patriotic singing and a picnic.



To those who are currently serving and who have served in previous times...thank you!

Angels and demons.

Yup. I saw Angels and Demons last night. It was really good!! I'd definitly recommend it. It's the sequel to the Da Vinci Code...which I never saw...so parts of it are a little trippy but I definitly think it's worth seeing! Lots of history, very interesting stuff...even if I don't believe the ways the Catholics do.

This week was one of those weeks...I'm ready for "those weeks" to be over. School's out June 11 and then it's time for summer vacation!! I'm super excited!! I love my job but I'm ready for a break. Not gonna have alot of money this summer but that's ok...I'll make it haha!

I've been thinking...

So it's been 8 months since my life was turned upside down...8 looong months and I've been thinking alot about what's happened since then...so let's take a look shall we?? Good!

8 months ago from Monday one of my best friends died...it rocked my world and my heart shattered (along with a rather large group of people). We knew it would take time to heal and that the hurt would be there for a long time. But about a week and a half previous to this, me and Chris entered into a relationship that would change the way I handled certain situations drastically. Having someone I knew would be there no matter what (even if I hadn't seen him in 3 years) and would listen to whatever I had to say and give some good advice definitly helped me handle things in a better way then I might have had I not had him there. So I've worked at Oaktree since August and I can't believe my first year is almost over. Those kids are amazing. They definitly made things a whole lot easier also. I have become very VERY close to Nicolie and I can honestly say that a friendship like ours might take some other people years to build. Chris came home in April for a 3 week visit...the best 3 weeks of my life! He left to go to Korea and it's been hard not having him here but I have all the support I need in my best friends!!

So I look back on the past 8 months and I thank God for the people He's put in my life because the past 8 months have been some of the hardest, most pain filled months of my life and yet because of the people in my life...it's been bearable. We've made it this far and I can say with certainty that we are going to make it through. The pain's gonna be there. We're gonna have really good days where we can just enjoy ourselves, we can laugh, and just have fun with the people we have in our lives. And we'll have horrible days where we can't think of anything but the pain we're still feeling and we'll cry and we won't know what to do. But we're gonna get through those days...I'm gonna get through those days because I know I have friends that I can go to who will lend me their shoulders anytime...and I want my friends to know that my shoulders available whenever too!!

My heart..

Have you ever stood outside on an impossibly cold day wishing you could just go inside and warm up... then you finally get the chance to go inside and the minute you step inside the door you're overcome by warmth and you feel the best you have all day??

That's kinda how I've felt for the past few months...well at least that's how my heart's felt. I love Chris and I can honestly say I have never felt loved in this way before and it's the best thing ever!

So I really don't have anything else to talk about tonight...except that I have a headache and I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep because I have a super long day again tomorrow...yay..

Tired.

I am SO incredibly tired! I didn't do anything out of the ordinary today...didn't wake up super early...didn't run on fewer then 9 hours of sleep...didn't overly exert myself...

It was just a long, tiring day.



I miss Chris...

So basically..

I miss Chris.. like alot!! He's been gone a month today and I definitly can't wait until he's back. Sometimes there are days when I don't get to talk to him at all and then I tend to freak out a bit... and then it only makes me so much more sure of how much I love him... and then I want him back here even more. But we've made it three years without seeing each other before so we can do it for a year...even if it is a little different this time. But yea...

Moral of the story- I miss him!!

Anywho...weather was weird today. Super hot this morning and afternoon and then at like 5 it got all overcast and windy and cold. Then I get home from work and standing out in the weird weather...and there's a HUGE cockroach on my front door...EW!!

Still waiting for news on my car... AAA is making my chances of getting the mazda 3 I want slimmer and slimmer by the day...gosh darn it! So yea I'm thinking I'd really like to just sit and watch TV right now...yup that's what I'm gonna do!

To you...

So I'm gonna write some things to some people and for the most part you should know who you are...but I'm not going to write any names. Ok?? Ok!

To you...You are my everything. I love you so much and I miss you in a way that only you can understand. I can't tell you what a difference you've made in my life. And we always found each other again at the perfect time. I never ever want to lose you! I don't know that I would be so content and happy as I am without you in my life. I would do anything for you and I hope I can always be there for you in the way that you are for me.

To you...You're my best friend. I've known you for 9-10 years and even though we may not have been best friends for all of those years...I'm extremely grateful for the years we were and are going to be. You have been the support and love I've needed in a friend for all those years and have done so much for me, I can't begin to explain what you mean to me. I hope as we get older that our friendship will only get stronger and that we'll always be friends!! I love you!!

To you...You're my other best friend. I've known you for almost 10 years too but it's just been in the past year or so that we've become close. I don't know what I'd do without you. We've been through quite a bit together and I definitly think that's made us better friends! I don't ever want to lose you. My days are a little brighter just because you're a part of them. You're such an example to me. Not to mention that sometimes me and you are the only two people that understand each other =] We have alot of those days haha. I love you!!

To you...I haven't known you for very long at all but I have a feeling that we could be best friends if we spent so much more time together. You're such a godly person and I look up to you so much as an example of how I want to live my life. You're truly amazing and God has great plans for you...even if they've had to wait because of circumstances in your life. So let's see each other more then on Sunday mornings ok?? =]

To you...I've also known you for 10 years or so and I value our friendship so much. We may have an interesting relationship...considering it's gone back and forth over the years...but I believe that we're going to be great friends for a long time. I know you're waiting for that special someone and no worries you'll find her. And I know you don't want to hear this again haha but she's going to be one lucky lady!

That's all I'm gonna do now. Can I just mention that I love ALL my friends...SO MUCH!!!

Past, present, and future.

I've been thinking alot about my past lately and how my past has brought me to where I am right now. And where is the place I'm at now going to take me in the future?? Who really knows. But I look back to when I was like 5, before my sisters were born, before I started attending First Baptist, before my parents divorced....and wondering how certain things can make a person stronger and other things can completely break a person. I guess when you think about it, you have to be broken at one point or you'll never be stronger.

If a person was to live such a perfect like that they could say, "Yea nothing really bad has ever happened to me. No divorce in my family, no losing friends, no struggling in school...nothing." I honestly don't see how that person is ever going to have an accurate grasp of reality. Because reality is...life sucks. It's not fair. And it's certainly not anywhere near perfect.

I was 12 when my parents divorced, and I guess you could say I took it well. I was never really mad at either one of my parents, I cried once (when I figured out what was going on), I never held a grudge against anyone...then I see kids who's parents have divorced who are mad at the world and who are so emotional that they can't even keep a handle on their emotions day by day. One of my best friends just died a few months back. I cried...alot. But I wasn't angry at him or anyone else for what happened. I was sad for months. I'm still sad. But I'm so much better now, I'm moving on. Then I see people who lose friends and their lives fall apart. They go from the perky, happy, loving kid to the kid who wears black, who always wears their hood, who doesn't talk to anyone anymore, and who never smiles. I don't know why people react so diffferently to different situations...but I have a pretty good idea.

If I was not a christian, I don't think I could've handled alot of the things that have happened in my life...not that there are so many. But I don't see how someone can go through some of the things I've been through or worse and not believe in God and rely on Him for their strength. Without God as my strength I'm not so sure I'd be in the place where I am today and that only makes me want to cling to Him that much more in anticipation of where that will take me in the future. Only God knows...and that's fine with me =]

Year end projects..

I work at Oaktree and every year there's a mandatory year end project...this year we all sewed little people (that are supposed to be us) and we dressed them and then they're going to get put on a big quilt. It's going to look awesome (thank you nicolie!!). But today we went and pulled out blankets from as far back as I think 1986. It's amazing to just sit there and look at these projects and see how they've progressed through the years.

We're having a 25 year anniversary on June 7th, so we're going to try and hang all the projects on the walls of Emitte Hall and the Daycare building. It's going to be pretty amazing actually!! I'm kind of excited. But yea...

I've had a horrible headache all day...doesn't seem to be wanting to go away.

Moral of the story- I need at least 8 hours of sleep if I want to be able to function correctly and actually feel good all day...

Worst thing ever... Headache while working =/

no..

news on my car....

no "moral of the story"...







How boring is that??

Patience...

My patience is being tested...that's really all I can say right now. I need a car. So my dad called AAA today to see if he could find out if my car is for sure totaled so that we can just get the money and go use it to get me a new car...left a message and never heard back. Ugh! I'd really like for all of this to go away.

Moral of the story-God will test us in our weaker areas...He'll also bring us through!

A car, a car!!

My dad and I went looking at cars this morning...because I am in need of a new car considering mine is prolly totaled. I talked to Pastor Jon the other day and he asked me what if I get MY car back...honestly I would love to have my car back. But since it's looking like that's prolly not going to happen we went looking for a new one!

I FOUND IT!! I found the car I want. The EXACT car I want. Black mazda 3 with a sun roof and an excellent sound system, and a navigational thingy haha...and it's very reasonably priced. I'm super excited and I'm really hoping that when I get the money from the insurance company that car will still be there because if it's not I'm going to be kind of bummed. But I'm sure there are more out there somewhere...But we were out looking for cars...walking in the sun for like an hour and a half...and I got sunburned!!

Moral of the story-if you're fair skinned (like me) you really need to wear suntan lotion no matter what you're doing or where you're going...=/

Beauty for pain.

So today's Sunday! Sunday's are the one day of the week that I really don't need an excuse to dress up...or semi dress up haha. I like Sundays!! I love church!! I've decided that I want to start wearing hecka cute high heeled shoes right?? Well I wore these super cute peep toe, black and white, platform high heels this morning...and I now have 3 fatty blisters on my heels...figures.

Moral of the story-sometimes you really do have to have a little bit of pain for beauty lol...oh well...out come the flip flops =]

I kinda like the whole "moral of the story" things...I think I'm gonna try to add those as much as possible...sound good?? Alright then!

I need a car..

I need my car...period...end of story.


Moral of the story=don't park in end parking spots, they're not safer (make sure you have a car or 2 on either side) and also, cars are a very necessary thing to our everyday lives, that's why an 84 year old lady still has her license, and therefore I NEED A CAR...

My car..

Yea. My car got hit in the parking lot of Live Oak Kitchen. And for those of you who want to know what happened here's the story..

So I had a meeting for work this morning and got there 15 minutes early, parked in the parking spot on the end cause it was semi close and went in. We're eating breakfast and our waitress, Diane (I love her!), comes in and goes that old lady (who's 84) just had an accident and she's in the bushes now. Well we all look out and her car is sitting right next to my car and I go MY CAR..but Diane goes no don't worry it didn't hit it. So we sit back down and keep eating. Well I see the police taking pictures and getting my license plate info and stuff so I look and Nicole and we decide to go out and let them know that's my car. So we got out and sure enough she'd hit my car. She hit the back left side of my car and bent the axle so it wasn't even driveable. So we had to have my car towed and now we just got a call from the auto shop and there's a 95% chance my car is getting totaled...so now I'm without a car and have to start looking for a new one that's cheap! Ugh!

It's been quite a week...holy cow! I'm ready for it to be over..

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning..

Yes indeed...spent 7 hours at work cleaning today. Like SERIOUSLY cleaning!! And just so that they can open us back up tomorrow so that we get to work...bleh! My feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts, my hands are dry and sore from scrubbing and washing....but we now have the cleanest daycare around! UGH!!

What a weekend..

So this weekend so far has been one of my favorites in a long time...

Got to hang out with my mommy alot. I love my mommy =]] and I miss her alot!! Ladies retreat was amazing...had some great times! Learned some really good stuff!! God was definitly at work there!! I'm extremely exhausted now...and tonight I get to stay up late again because I'm going to see one of my daycare kids in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory downtown. I'm excited!! But yea..

Ladies Retreat

It's been an awesome day so far...I can't wait for the rest of today and tomorrow morning!!!

We're doing a murder mystery as our little skit thing this year and my name's Nari Nutrytian...I wonder who killed Calla Rees?? Was it Candy Kane, or maybe Wanda Waitloz...or could it be Dr. Coco Cupcake or Cara Mel?? What about Alli Airobix or Sirius Sweetooth?? Anywho...it's been fun leading singing and playing Nari...I'd definitly do it again!!

God's gonna do a great work...I can feel it!!

Crazyyy

It's been a crazy week...

So ladies retreat this weekend. I'm helping lead singing...gotta learn the songs that I don't know by...tomorrow morning!! Oh boy. Also helping in the murder mystery skit we're doing, have to find a costume by...tomorrow morning!! Yikes. Gotta pack tonight. Gotta go buy snacks and carrots...gotta finish my "nutrition pamphlets"...holy cow! I didn't wanna sleep tonight did I??

So I'll be gone tomorrow night through Saturday...yea...

Babysitting all day today. Two of the cutest little girls. No soda in the house...oh man. Been reading alot and listening to music...so yea.

Manna.

So tonight was L.I.G.H.T. and Sherry Bevis did the devotion on God providing (that's where the manna came in) and having a day to day relationship with God. It was definitly something I needed to hear. I do devotions, but I definitly think I could be more consistent.. Thank you Sherry!!!

Jessica, Nicole, and I had a huge sleep over last night..kinda haha. It was pretty sweet I must admit.

Chris made it to Korea...I miss him!

My blistered sunburn still hurts but I'm actually able to walk normally today..and I actually was able to run earlier (thank you Nicolie!). Anywho...it's been an extremely looong week, and I'm very happy that tomorrow is Friday!!

Oh Boy

Never ever in my life would I have ever guessed that saying "See you later!" (because I don't believe in goodbye) would be so extremely hard. I spose that the fact that he's in the army does make it a little different. Oh man I'm gonna miss him like crazy!!

There's something like a 15 hour time difference between here and Korea...which is gonna make things a little more difficult. But it'll be ok.

On a different note...yea the sunburn blistered and I'm really having problems walking haha. I just want them to go away because I have to walk on my right toes instead of my foot because I can't straighten my leg and that's not doing anything good for my foot or my hips..ugh. Pain.

OW!

Got sunburned on Saturday...It's blistering...I AM HURTING SOOOO MUCH!!! Any suggestions??

So.

It's been almost a week since I've written on here. Oops!

So much has happened. Can I just mention again that I LOVE having Chris home...like I have been soo much happier these past couple weeks then I have in a long time! It's amazing!!

I really had no desire to go back to work this week after having all last week off...yea. It's been a tiring week!! Holy cow! But tomorrow I get to go to Emily's and we're gonna hot tub and bonfire..it's gonna be awesome! Then Saturday I'm going to the beach for Amanda's birthday..I LOVE THE BEACH!! Anywho. Gonna go to bed now! Night!!

sad.

I just found out that one of my close friends is moving to South Dakota. Wow. Sadness!! I'm definitly gonna miss him.

Monterey

So we went to Monterey today! I love Monterey!!

It was super duper windy, and freezing cold haha but it was so much fun. We went to the Dennis the Menace park. Then we went to the beach and I basically slept like the whole time we were there. I just got under a blanket and went to sleep haha. Amazing!! And Chris was there. Not the entire day but most of it...that just makes it that much better!!

Yay!!

So this week has been WONDERFUL!!!! One of the best in my life! I love having him home...and being able to actually see him. I'm gonna miss him horribly when he goes to Korea! But it'll be ok. We've been ok this long. We'll be fine another year or so!!

So pretty much..

What I've had for the past 3 (going on 4) weeks now is a sinus infection. And I'm wishing I'd gone to the doctors like a couple weeks ago. Because then I could have avoided 2 weeks of miserableness.

On a better note. CHRIS CAME HOME TODAY!!! Holy cow. I'm soooo happy!! You have no idea!! Definitly can't wait to actually spend time with him.

neglected.

Yes. I have kind of neglected my blog this past week haha. Oops.

Well. Chris is coming home TOMORROW!!!! Wow super exciting!! He'll be home for like 3 weeks...I haven't seen him for like 3 years. WOW!! Doing something next Sunday afternoon that's gonna be incredibly hard and emotionally trying but I think it'll be a good thing to do. Singing our Easter musical for old people. Oh boy. Anyways. That's all I can think of right now. I'll fill you in..no worries!!

OMG FINALLY!!

I finally got my new phone!! I'm super excited...you have no idea!

Just thought I'd let you know!!

Cold.

So basically, I've been sick forever. Going on 3 weeks now. And I've finally decided that I'm going to the doctor's cause I'd really like to know what's wrong and get better =]. Yes.

Also, I live in a freezer. Like really. My grandpa keeps our thermostat at 59. Rarely does it get turned up. BRRR!!! I live in the cold. I could prolly go somewhere really cold and be like, OMG it feels like home haha.

Softball.

Has turned out to be quite an exciting sport!! I've never really been into sports all that much...but my cousins both play softball and I find it really easy to get into it.

Anyways...Hopefully everybody that went paintballing today had tons of fun =] and didn't get hurt too badly haha. And I hope Nicole didn't die because she has asthma. But yea...I'm going to babysit tonight so I should probably go get ready. Later!!

Encouragement.

Just came from a night of major encouragement. I must admit I wasn't expecting entirely too much, but I definitly came away feeling more encouraged!! I love my church. I love the people in my church. I wouldn't want another church!! I don't know how I would have made it through the past 6 months without their support. Now don't get me wrong...some have had much more of a visible and recognized role but still. I love them!! And I love my friends more then anything in the entire word (except Chris Morrissey of course =])!!

Capture the flag.

Yes. I played capture the flag for suuuuper long today. I'm starting to really enjoy the game haha. I'm actually rather proud of myself because I played the hardest I've ever played before. And I actually won for my team once, and almost won a second time!!! It was exciting!! Anyways, I kinda hurt now. Ran alot harder and alot longer today then I have in a while haha. My feet ache lol. Pathetic!

I'm really not sure I actually have anything definite to talk about on here tonight haha. Weird.

Guess I'll have to think of something to talk about.

I watched Disturbia yesterday. That's such a good movie. I love thrillers. Like really!! But I don't do scary movies. Not at all!! But honestly...how scary would it be to realize that you have a serial killer as a neighbor. I'm pretty sure I would insist on moving out of the neighborhood. See how bored I am. Wow. Maybe I'll just leave it at that. Night!

Saturday.

I have decided that, considering the fact that my weeks are generally packed full of things to do, my weekends are going to consist of a whole lot of doing nothing. Maybe do some laundry, pick up my room if necessary, hang out with friends (because that's ok no matter how busy I am), you know, basically I want to sit on the couch for the majority of my Saturdays and do nothing. But that would be very unproductive, and would mean that I wouldn't ever get anything done. So therefore I have just now determined that my nonproductive weekends will probably never happen. That's quite a bummer.

Anyways, why did today have to be such an overcast, dreary day?? The whole week was filled with gorgeous, sunny, warm days and I absolutely loved it!!! Where'd that go??

I'm watching Little Miss Sunshine. I don't particularly recommend the movie to be quite honest. Rather slow, and boring. Well I'm gonna go get ready to go to dinner when my dad gets home. Then me and him are gonna go see a movie! I'm really excited. Daddy/daughter time. Yay!!

Yay!

This week is finally over!! Hallelujah! Honestly, I don't think I've ever been so excited for a week to be over in my entire life. The last few days have been incredibly hard. Not necessarily the hardest ever, but HARD!! I'm so ready for bed. Night!

Gotta get through this..

Yes we do. It's tough. Very tough. We're working on it. And honestly I think that we're making huge leaps in getting through everything. Yea.

Oh boy.

Today was quite a day. Pretty good day at work I'd say. Something I definitly wasn't planning on doing was done. It all goes back to September 18th.

I'll think that I'm finally beginning to get over it. To actually move on and live my life the way I did before. Then all those emotions and memories of such a horrible point in my life are all dug up again. Such raw emotions felt all over again and it rips me apart! I know this isn't how he'd want me to feel. How he'd want any of us to feel. And we are honestly trying to move past this and remember the good times, but we can't be expected to just not feel anything. Anyways, I'm going to go watch American Idol and just kinda turn off my mind (yea right!). Maybe things will look better in the morning. Night!

Wowzers..

That's what one of my favorite little girls in the whole wide world says haha. I think it's cute!

Anywho. I'm still sick. Of course. Today was actually a whole lot better then yesterday. Not that I felt all that much better but still. I played football (I know huh?) with one of the cutest little first grade boys ever. I love him!! Jake visited. Which was awesome. You should've seen the kids when they saw him haha. Amazing!! But yea. Hopefully I'll feel sooo much better tomorrow. Yup yup!

Ew.

So I'm sick.

I do not feel good. At all. I love working with kids...I really do, I just don't like the fact that you're sick for half your life because the kids like to share their germs with you. They won't share anything else, but germs, they'll share plenty of those. But ugh, I hate being sick.

I'm gonna go chill now. Maybe sleep, because I really need sleep!!

Bye.

Happy Camper.

Yup that's me!

I just found out the most exciting news of my life!!
MY BOY'S COMING HOME!!!!! =]]] Like really, you have no idea! I haven't seen him in 3 years. This is huge! Anyways, I should probably go get ready for church haha. Peace!

Officially trained.

So yes. I am now officially trained in adult, child, and infant CPR and first aid. Isn't that just so exciting!! It was by far the longest Saturday of my life! Eight hours in a classroom at the red cross building with an asian teacher (who was funny for the most part)...yea. Super long day!!! I'm definitly ready to go to bed. That point would be proved by what happened in the car on the way home (only Nicole knows about that...and I'm not so sure I'll share it with anyone else haha). It was pretty bad lol. Anyways. I'm going to watch the Bourne Identity.

Later Gators!

So. Long.

It was such a long week this week. Holy cow! Every day this week...inside with anywheafre from 50-70 kids every afternoon. It was good and bad. Then tomorrow I have to get up early because I have to go to a first aid class. All day. 8 hours. It'll be good. Boring, but good. And Nicolie will be there to suffer through it with me =] Thank you Nicolie!

The rain is over for like the next week. It's kinda exciting! Next week is a minimum week and I have to say that if I had to be stuck inside every afternoon with those kids next week I might go clinically insane. But it's sposed to be sunny.

We set our clocks forward tomorrow night. It's awesome cause that means it stays light longer!! I love it!! But it's bad cause we lose an hour. Bummer.

Well I'm gonna go crash now. Later!

10:30

So I went to the Chris Tomlin concert at SJSU last night. It was AMAZING!! God was in that place and it was very apparent. But yea, anyways, I didn't get home until 11:30ish and went to bed at like 12:30. Apparently I was a very tired girl haha. I woke up at 9 and was like oh I've got a little longer and ended up falling back asleep and when I woke up again it was 10:30 and I was like WOW! It was nice though.

Orange soda =]

Diet sunkist soda...is my favorite!! Like I'm seriously addicted, and it's a REALLY bad thing haha. I'm actually trying to drink so much less soda cause it's a big problem I have haha. But hey...baby steps.

Today was...wow. It was such a long day. Rainy, minimum day, with like 65 kids who had been inside like most of the day. Holy moly!!!! But it's pretty much over now. I just got back from the gym and I believe I'm going to be sore tomorrow. I kinda hope I'm gonna be sore cause that means it's working. Anywho. I'm going to watch American Idol. Peace!

Wow

I'm kinda glad today's over. It was a very long day! Rain, rain, and more...RAIN!! It poured down rain like no other during work today. Holy cow!

Then I had awana after work. Which I actually really enjoy. But it just kinda made the day even longer. But yea. Over all I suppose it was actually a pretty good day. Nothing horrible happened. Anyways. I'm ready for bed. Not yet though.

But anyways...Night!

Curls

So I have curly hair, right? Right. And today...since it was raining...I decided that I wasn't going to do anything to my hair. I wasn't going to put it up, I wasn't going to straighten it. Nothing. So I wore it down, put a little curl shaper gel into it, and went to work. All I heard the whole time I was at work was "Did you do something to your hair?" "Your hair looks different" "Did you get really wet or something?" and one little boy (who I absolutely adore!!) asked "Was today crazy hair day?" Oh boy. Needless to say, I don't plan on wearing my hair like this ever again. At least not anytime soon. So if you liked it...sorry haha.

On a different note, if you have never watched NCIS, I would definitly recommend watching it. It is quite a show. Makes me laugh! Funny funny people, action, suspense...its exciting!

So I haven't been to the gym since last wednesday, I'm going to go right now!

Peace.

Rain, rain..

Go away. Come again some other day.

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain! It just kinda sucks when you work at a daycare with what feels like a bazillion and one kids and they've been stuck inside ALL day and then you get them after school for 4 hours. Craziness.

But no, we need the rain really badly so it's really ok... I'll survive!

Interesting class today. Teacher asked us a question that kinda made me think.. Do we really know ourselves?? (her answer was no). It's a good thought. Gonna have to dwell on that for a while. That kinda makes it hard to be yourself...if you don't really know yourself. Hm.

Oh well.

Puppy Chow

I got my puppy chow =]




I'm happy!


(And yes puppy chow is something people eat. If you're really interested google puppy chow recipes! It's yummy!!)

Craving..

Don't you hate it when you have a craving...but you have no idea what that craving is for!! Oh my goodness I have that right now. Actually I'm pretty sure I know what I'm craving, but I would have to go to the store, buy the stuff to make it, and then make it...too much effort and by the time I'm done making it the craving might just be gone. Ugh! Something sweet. I need something sweet. So I'm going to go find something sweet. Adios!

Ugh

I'm frustrated for multiple reasons...and I can't say any of those reasons on here. Which makes me even more frustrated. Which is slowly turning into me being kind of angry and I kind of want to cry.

Could it get much worse?? There 2 people I want to talk to right now and neither one is online. ugh.

So I sat at a park today for an hour or so.. We were waiting for my uncle and aunt to come to my cousins softball practice. I just kind of sat there, and watched. It's an interesting thing really. I mean it helps that I work with kids for 4-6 hours or more a day, but you just sit there and watch the kids and you realize how truly different they all are. I sat there and watched a littl boy jump off of a rock structure thing that was like 3.5 feet tall. Just jumped, and landed and ran off to do something else. Then his brother went up the same rock thing and wouldn't even get close to the edge of it. I'm not sure where these thoughts came from or where exactly they're going but I just think it's such an interesting thing.

Can you tell how bored and tired I am today... I've written like 3 or 4 times already haha. At least it's not boring stuff. Well I don't think it's boring stuff anyhow.

Sleep

What does the word sleep mean?? Lately, I really haven't come anywhere near to a good night's sleep. It is catching up with me. Holy cow! I guess it really doesn't help that I stayed up pretty late last night talking to a good frien. Anyways. Nicole defintly experienced the affects that sleep depravation has on me. It's...yea. I suppose that interesting doesn't even really describe it huh Nicolie? I need a nap is basically what I'm saying here...so I think that's exactly what I'm going to go do =]


Night!

Man in the Mirror

Yes. You are correct. That is a Michael Jackson song. But no worries...it was Michael Jackson before he went messed up! But have you ever listened to the lyrics to this song. So great! I definitly think it's going to be one of my favorite songs right now. I think if more people were to realize that if you want change you have to start with yourself, I think we might have a way more honest and caring and just over all better society. Like really! Anyways. Here it is.


Ooh ooh ooh aah
Gotta make a change
For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

As I turned up the collar on
A favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the kids in the street
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind
Pretending not to see their needs
A summer's disregard
A broken bottle top
And a one man's soul
They follow each other
On the wind ya' know'
Cause they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change,
yeyNa na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho
I've been a victim ofA selfish kinda love
It's time that I realize
There are some with no home
Not a nickel to loan
Could it be really pretending that they're not alone
A willow deeply scarred
Somebody's broken heart
And a washed out dream(Washed out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see'
Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me

That's definitly not the whole song...but I love it!

Miles

So here I am. Awake at 12:45. Unusual for me? Yes...slightly. But I'm beginning to realize how much I truly miss a few of my friends. One who lives a mere 5 hours away in Chico, someone who means alot to me and who made a big difference in my life. One who lives something like 1200 miles away...someone who has been there for me during some really tough times, and who I hope I have been there for when he needed me too. One who I love with everything I am...who lives in Kentucky, who's in the army. Who I fear for every day of my life but who I have to trust God to take care of since I can't, seeing as I'm a couple thousand miles away or whatever. Yea. My friends mean alot to me. And I really wish I could see these people a whole lot more often then I do! But to the three of you who I'm talking about (you should know who you are), if you're reading this, just know that I love you all and I miss you dearly!

Hmm..

So went to dinner at taco bell tonight...and definitly had a blond moment. So I thought I should add my little blonde moments to my blog..

"....and my ice creams still in the freezer,
and we had mcdonalds (taco bell) for dinner tonight,
and my trash landed on the floor..."

Wow too bad Nicole will really be the only one to understand that...but oh well!!

BUNKO!

Yup. Bunko. I just played bunko for 2 hours. Interesting game. That's all I have to say about that subject.

Anywho, I had mexican food for the 5th time this week today. Yes! I had mexican food Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. What do you say? Think I should just finish out the week and have it Saturday and Sunday too?? Oh boy!

Long day at work today. I'm not sure why really. It just seemed to go on and on and on and on....and on. Definitly having a friend over tonight! Chillaxing time. It should be hecka good.

Nicolie and I went shopping for a whole bunch of birthday presents today. We had quite a time lol. All I have to say...eensy weensy spider ;]. Wow but I went crazy around 6:30 today. Like I think I could've been considered insane. Really. I was just that tired. I mean AM that tired!

But yea. That was my day. Well for the most part. Pretty exciting and fairly normal I'd say. We'll see about tomorrow =]

Dinner

Ok. El Burro's is one of the best mexican restaraunts of all times. The most wonderful bean burrito's ever created by man. I am so overly full right now. I'm to the point of being miserably full. I hate that!! But it was definitly worth it. SO good!

On another note, my foot hurts. I have no idea why my foot hurts. Could have to do with riding the stationary bike, or running on the treadmill at the gym. But whatever the reason, I am not happy about it. Tylenol. It's becoming my favorite. I'm not addicted, I promise. I've just had to use it alot lately.

Anyways, I'm tired. I'm going to go vegg now!

<3

Yup.

It's Thursday. That means tomorrow's friday. Which means that the weekend is like a day and a half away. Wow, something to look forward to!

L.I.G.H.T's out is tonight. El Burro time baby!! I love that restaraunt. Anyways. Off to lunch, then work, then dinner.

Oh and thank goodness for chocolate. Like really. It's such a comfort thing. Or maybe it was more of a craving thing last night. But it was definitly much needed. I thank the makers of Dove chocolates. They're the bomb!

TTFN! (ta ta for now...for those of you who never watched winnie the pooh.)

BTW

Might I just add that I really rather hate getting up early in the mornings. Not that 8 o'clock is substantially early, but when you're already dead tired it comes entirely too early! But I get to sleep in tomorrow. So I'm really not complaining =]


Oh and I also wanted to express just how much I dislike my phone at the moment. It won't let me send or recieve calls. Doesn't ring when people call and if they leave a voice mail, it doesn't come through until some ridiculous time...like 3 am (nicolie it wasn't your fault!). Also, it only picks up a signal .25% of the time...I promise. But other then that...things are wonderful!

What a Wednesday..

So today was by far the longest day ever...actually not really...but it was suuuper long! It really felt like it wasn't going to end. I love my job. Don't get me wrong there. I couldn't ask for a better job really. But I think that excruciatingly long might be the best way to describe today. And it doesn't make it any better that I was outside today, and that the weather was unbelievably cold. It got to the point where I could no longer feel my fingers. Horrible. But other then that, great!

My boss asked me about school... what a subject. I'm not so much enjoying college. Yet. I think it might have something to do with the fact that up until a few months ago (when I actually started college) I was totally ready to be a nurse. I was going to get right into the nursing program and get done in like 2 years (because they say you can do it that fast, and the faster the better, right?) But apparently God had other plans for me. Because I now don't necessarily want to be a nurse. I know I want to help people. That's a given. I'm pretty sure I want to major in sociology. Wow! I know. Be a therapist. A shrink as some people call them. But a good one. Preferably one that specializes in suicide/depression/addiction/self-injury type of things. But my boss also made a good point. I should probably know WHY I want to do that. And I'm pretty sure I do. Pretty sure it has to do with the event I talked about in my last blog. But it's all good. I'll eventually get to the point where it'll be crystal clear to me what I want to do with my life. Now I just sit back and wait!

Definition:
Sociology-The study of society, human social interaction, and the rules and processes that bind and separate people not only as individuals, but as members of associations, groups, and institutions.

how to begin

So....blogging! I've definitly never blogged before, but new experiences are good right?? If you can consider this a new experience lol. I'm not even sure I understand this whole blogging thing. I open up and spill all?? Seems a little public for me... anywho. I guess I've got a lot to catch up on. I suppose I'll start back in September. September 18, 2008 to be exact. It seemed like a great day as far as I can remember. I was working, Nicole was gone (which sucked majorly)...but other then that it was good. I didn't find out until the 19th (friday) that the 18th really wasn't such a great day...one of my best friends (Nick Sanders) had decided that life was too much to handle and that he didn't want to live anymore. Honestly, I never ever thought that I would have to go through something like that. It was one of those things that happened to other people, maybe even people I knew and maybe I could be there to support them, but it was never going to happen to me. Then my youth group and I got hit by it. We were now grieving for one of our closest friends, and it was the most emotionally trying time in my life. I went through one of the greatest emotinal rollercoasters of my life. I really didn't know what to think and I don't really remember alot of the things that went on within a few months of what happened. I went through so many "what if"s"...but I learned so much from this experience. God has a reason for putting certain trials in our lives. We may not agree with them, actually we rarely do, mainly because of the pain and suffering they cause us. But He doesn't give us anything in life that we can't handle. I've learned to live life to the fullest, never take my friends for granted, let them know how much they truly mean to me. I've learned that "what if's" don't do any good, especially after the fact. I feel like I actually have a direction for my life to go in now. I'm so much more aware of things. I'm so interested in organizations like TWLOHA (to write love on her arms) an organization for suicide/depression/addiction/self-injury. I want to work in that sort of an org. I want to help people!! Anyways, wow that was kind of a heavy blog...sorry haha. But yea, now you know where I stand. It's all good!