how to begin

So....blogging! I've definitly never blogged before, but new experiences are good right?? If you can consider this a new experience lol. I'm not even sure I understand this whole blogging thing. I open up and spill all?? Seems a little public for me... anywho. I guess I've got a lot to catch up on. I suppose I'll start back in September. September 18, 2008 to be exact. It seemed like a great day as far as I can remember. I was working, Nicole was gone (which sucked majorly)...but other then that it was good. I didn't find out until the 19th (friday) that the 18th really wasn't such a great day...one of my best friends (Nick Sanders) had decided that life was too much to handle and that he didn't want to live anymore. Honestly, I never ever thought that I would have to go through something like that. It was one of those things that happened to other people, maybe even people I knew and maybe I could be there to support them, but it was never going to happen to me. Then my youth group and I got hit by it. We were now grieving for one of our closest friends, and it was the most emotionally trying time in my life. I went through one of the greatest emotinal rollercoasters of my life. I really didn't know what to think and I don't really remember alot of the things that went on within a few months of what happened. I went through so many "what if"s"...but I learned so much from this experience. God has a reason for putting certain trials in our lives. We may not agree with them, actually we rarely do, mainly because of the pain and suffering they cause us. But He doesn't give us anything in life that we can't handle. I've learned to live life to the fullest, never take my friends for granted, let them know how much they truly mean to me. I've learned that "what if's" don't do any good, especially after the fact. I feel like I actually have a direction for my life to go in now. I'm so much more aware of things. I'm so interested in organizations like TWLOHA (to write love on her arms) an organization for suicide/depression/addiction/self-injury. I want to work in that sort of an org. I want to help people!! Anyways, wow that was kind of a heavy blog...sorry haha. But yea, now you know where I stand. It's all good!