16 hour..

time difference between here and Korea....











SUCKS!!!!

Pathetic..

How pathetic is it that on a Saturday night an 18 year old girl is exhausted and has nothing to do?? IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT!! I'm sposed to hang out with a friend or see a movie or just something...but no...I sit at home, watch tv, surf the net, and go to bed haha...horrible.

My own...

So...I'm ready to live my own life now. I'm ready to come out from under the wings of my grandparents. I'm ready to do things on my own and not have my grandma and grandpa do everything for me. Don't get me wrong...I love them. They've been as much of my life as my parents have. But I'm 18 and I'm ready get out there and do things for myself...

Not now!

Why...of all times...do I have to feel like I'm getting sick?? Right before summer break? WHAT IS THIS??

Poor Nicolie's been sick for like 3 weeks now...and her mom isn't feeling so good either. Poor McCarty's =/ I hope they feel better ASAP =]

Long day today...I really rather dislike Wednesdays...minimum days...just toooo long! Then I come home and I'm all tired and cranky (well only cranky sometimes =]) and then I have to go to the gym...hm. Oh well. It builds character!

SUMMER!!!

I can't wait for summer...like you have no idea!! I enjoy my job...wouldn't trade it for anything...but I need my 3 month break. Sucks that I don't get paid but whatever that can be dealt with haha. I'm super excited for this summer...no telling what all is gonna happen!

Disneyland in June. VBS and houseboating in July. And so much more with Emily and Nicolie!!
Great America, swimming, beach, Santa Cruz beach boardwalk, San Fransisco, Marine World...oh there's so much to do!

There's only one problem with this whole summer...Chris is in Korea...and that's ENTIRELY too far away =/

=]

Hope everybody's having a marvelous memorial day!! It's all about bbq and swimming, right?? Well for most people anyways lol.


Keep our troops in your prayers! Thanks to all who are serving and who have served before. Freedom isn't free..

I just had to...

I was talking to Chris a little while ago and he was giving me a hard time because he'd blogged today and I hadn't...so...here's my blog for the day!


=]]

Memorial Day...just in case you didn't know =]

Memorial Day is a US federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May (May 25 in 2009). Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who died while in the military service. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War (it is celebrated near the day of reunification after the civil war), it was expanded after World War I to include American casualties of any war or military action.



It came about when the freed slaves disinterred the dead Union soldiers from the mass grave to be inhumed properly reposed with individual graves, built a fence around the graveyard with an entry arch, declaring it a Union graveyard. A daring action for freed slaves to take such in the South just shortly after the Union's victory. On May 30, 1868, the freed slaves returned to the graveyard with flowers they had picked from the countryside and decorated the individual gravesites, thereby creating the first Decoration Day. Thousands of freed blacks and Union soldiers paraded from the area, followed by much patriotic singing and a picnic.



To those who are currently serving and who have served in previous times...thank you!

Angels and demons.

Yup. I saw Angels and Demons last night. It was really good!! I'd definitly recommend it. It's the sequel to the Da Vinci Code...which I never saw...so parts of it are a little trippy but I definitly think it's worth seeing! Lots of history, very interesting stuff...even if I don't believe the ways the Catholics do.

This week was one of those weeks...I'm ready for "those weeks" to be over. School's out June 11 and then it's time for summer vacation!! I'm super excited!! I love my job but I'm ready for a break. Not gonna have alot of money this summer but that's ok...I'll make it haha!

I've been thinking...

So it's been 8 months since my life was turned upside down...8 looong months and I've been thinking alot about what's happened since then...so let's take a look shall we?? Good!

8 months ago from Monday one of my best friends died...it rocked my world and my heart shattered (along with a rather large group of people). We knew it would take time to heal and that the hurt would be there for a long time. But about a week and a half previous to this, me and Chris entered into a relationship that would change the way I handled certain situations drastically. Having someone I knew would be there no matter what (even if I hadn't seen him in 3 years) and would listen to whatever I had to say and give some good advice definitly helped me handle things in a better way then I might have had I not had him there. So I've worked at Oaktree since August and I can't believe my first year is almost over. Those kids are amazing. They definitly made things a whole lot easier also. I have become very VERY close to Nicolie and I can honestly say that a friendship like ours might take some other people years to build. Chris came home in April for a 3 week visit...the best 3 weeks of my life! He left to go to Korea and it's been hard not having him here but I have all the support I need in my best friends!!

So I look back on the past 8 months and I thank God for the people He's put in my life because the past 8 months have been some of the hardest, most pain filled months of my life and yet because of the people in my life...it's been bearable. We've made it this far and I can say with certainty that we are going to make it through. The pain's gonna be there. We're gonna have really good days where we can just enjoy ourselves, we can laugh, and just have fun with the people we have in our lives. And we'll have horrible days where we can't think of anything but the pain we're still feeling and we'll cry and we won't know what to do. But we're gonna get through those days...I'm gonna get through those days because I know I have friends that I can go to who will lend me their shoulders anytime...and I want my friends to know that my shoulders available whenever too!!

My heart..

Have you ever stood outside on an impossibly cold day wishing you could just go inside and warm up... then you finally get the chance to go inside and the minute you step inside the door you're overcome by warmth and you feel the best you have all day??

That's kinda how I've felt for the past few months...well at least that's how my heart's felt. I love Chris and I can honestly say I have never felt loved in this way before and it's the best thing ever!

So I really don't have anything else to talk about tonight...except that I have a headache and I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep because I have a super long day again tomorrow...yay..

Tired.

I am SO incredibly tired! I didn't do anything out of the ordinary today...didn't wake up super early...didn't run on fewer then 9 hours of sleep...didn't overly exert myself...

It was just a long, tiring day.



I miss Chris...

So basically..

I miss Chris.. like alot!! He's been gone a month today and I definitly can't wait until he's back. Sometimes there are days when I don't get to talk to him at all and then I tend to freak out a bit... and then it only makes me so much more sure of how much I love him... and then I want him back here even more. But we've made it three years without seeing each other before so we can do it for a year...even if it is a little different this time. But yea...

Moral of the story- I miss him!!

Anywho...weather was weird today. Super hot this morning and afternoon and then at like 5 it got all overcast and windy and cold. Then I get home from work and standing out in the weird weather...and there's a HUGE cockroach on my front door...EW!!

Still waiting for news on my car... AAA is making my chances of getting the mazda 3 I want slimmer and slimmer by the day...gosh darn it! So yea I'm thinking I'd really like to just sit and watch TV right now...yup that's what I'm gonna do!

To you...

So I'm gonna write some things to some people and for the most part you should know who you are...but I'm not going to write any names. Ok?? Ok!

To you...You are my everything. I love you so much and I miss you in a way that only you can understand. I can't tell you what a difference you've made in my life. And we always found each other again at the perfect time. I never ever want to lose you! I don't know that I would be so content and happy as I am without you in my life. I would do anything for you and I hope I can always be there for you in the way that you are for me.

To you...You're my best friend. I've known you for 9-10 years and even though we may not have been best friends for all of those years...I'm extremely grateful for the years we were and are going to be. You have been the support and love I've needed in a friend for all those years and have done so much for me, I can't begin to explain what you mean to me. I hope as we get older that our friendship will only get stronger and that we'll always be friends!! I love you!!

To you...You're my other best friend. I've known you for almost 10 years too but it's just been in the past year or so that we've become close. I don't know what I'd do without you. We've been through quite a bit together and I definitly think that's made us better friends! I don't ever want to lose you. My days are a little brighter just because you're a part of them. You're such an example to me. Not to mention that sometimes me and you are the only two people that understand each other =] We have alot of those days haha. I love you!!

To you...I haven't known you for very long at all but I have a feeling that we could be best friends if we spent so much more time together. You're such a godly person and I look up to you so much as an example of how I want to live my life. You're truly amazing and God has great plans for you...even if they've had to wait because of circumstances in your life. So let's see each other more then on Sunday mornings ok?? =]

To you...I've also known you for 10 years or so and I value our friendship so much. We may have an interesting relationship...considering it's gone back and forth over the years...but I believe that we're going to be great friends for a long time. I know you're waiting for that special someone and no worries you'll find her. And I know you don't want to hear this again haha but she's going to be one lucky lady!

That's all I'm gonna do now. Can I just mention that I love ALL my friends...SO MUCH!!!

Past, present, and future.

I've been thinking alot about my past lately and how my past has brought me to where I am right now. And where is the place I'm at now going to take me in the future?? Who really knows. But I look back to when I was like 5, before my sisters were born, before I started attending First Baptist, before my parents divorced....and wondering how certain things can make a person stronger and other things can completely break a person. I guess when you think about it, you have to be broken at one point or you'll never be stronger.

If a person was to live such a perfect like that they could say, "Yea nothing really bad has ever happened to me. No divorce in my family, no losing friends, no struggling in school...nothing." I honestly don't see how that person is ever going to have an accurate grasp of reality. Because reality is...life sucks. It's not fair. And it's certainly not anywhere near perfect.

I was 12 when my parents divorced, and I guess you could say I took it well. I was never really mad at either one of my parents, I cried once (when I figured out what was going on), I never held a grudge against anyone...then I see kids who's parents have divorced who are mad at the world and who are so emotional that they can't even keep a handle on their emotions day by day. One of my best friends just died a few months back. I cried...alot. But I wasn't angry at him or anyone else for what happened. I was sad for months. I'm still sad. But I'm so much better now, I'm moving on. Then I see people who lose friends and their lives fall apart. They go from the perky, happy, loving kid to the kid who wears black, who always wears their hood, who doesn't talk to anyone anymore, and who never smiles. I don't know why people react so diffferently to different situations...but I have a pretty good idea.

If I was not a christian, I don't think I could've handled alot of the things that have happened in my life...not that there are so many. But I don't see how someone can go through some of the things I've been through or worse and not believe in God and rely on Him for their strength. Without God as my strength I'm not so sure I'd be in the place where I am today and that only makes me want to cling to Him that much more in anticipation of where that will take me in the future. Only God knows...and that's fine with me =]

Year end projects..

I work at Oaktree and every year there's a mandatory year end project...this year we all sewed little people (that are supposed to be us) and we dressed them and then they're going to get put on a big quilt. It's going to look awesome (thank you nicolie!!). But today we went and pulled out blankets from as far back as I think 1986. It's amazing to just sit there and look at these projects and see how they've progressed through the years.

We're having a 25 year anniversary on June 7th, so we're going to try and hang all the projects on the walls of Emitte Hall and the Daycare building. It's going to be pretty amazing actually!! I'm kind of excited. But yea...

I've had a horrible headache all day...doesn't seem to be wanting to go away.

Moral of the story- I need at least 8 hours of sleep if I want to be able to function correctly and actually feel good all day...

Worst thing ever... Headache while working =/

no..

news on my car....

no "moral of the story"...







How boring is that??

Patience...

My patience is being tested...that's really all I can say right now. I need a car. So my dad called AAA today to see if he could find out if my car is for sure totaled so that we can just get the money and go use it to get me a new car...left a message and never heard back. Ugh! I'd really like for all of this to go away.

Moral of the story-God will test us in our weaker areas...He'll also bring us through!

A car, a car!!

My dad and I went looking at cars this morning...because I am in need of a new car considering mine is prolly totaled. I talked to Pastor Jon the other day and he asked me what if I get MY car back...honestly I would love to have my car back. But since it's looking like that's prolly not going to happen we went looking for a new one!

I FOUND IT!! I found the car I want. The EXACT car I want. Black mazda 3 with a sun roof and an excellent sound system, and a navigational thingy haha...and it's very reasonably priced. I'm super excited and I'm really hoping that when I get the money from the insurance company that car will still be there because if it's not I'm going to be kind of bummed. But I'm sure there are more out there somewhere...But we were out looking for cars...walking in the sun for like an hour and a half...and I got sunburned!!

Moral of the story-if you're fair skinned (like me) you really need to wear suntan lotion no matter what you're doing or where you're going...=/

Beauty for pain.

So today's Sunday! Sunday's are the one day of the week that I really don't need an excuse to dress up...or semi dress up haha. I like Sundays!! I love church!! I've decided that I want to start wearing hecka cute high heeled shoes right?? Well I wore these super cute peep toe, black and white, platform high heels this morning...and I now have 3 fatty blisters on my heels...figures.

Moral of the story-sometimes you really do have to have a little bit of pain for beauty lol...oh well...out come the flip flops =]

I kinda like the whole "moral of the story" things...I think I'm gonna try to add those as much as possible...sound good?? Alright then!

I need a car..

I need my car...period...end of story.


Moral of the story=don't park in end parking spots, they're not safer (make sure you have a car or 2 on either side) and also, cars are a very necessary thing to our everyday lives, that's why an 84 year old lady still has her license, and therefore I NEED A CAR...

My car..

Yea. My car got hit in the parking lot of Live Oak Kitchen. And for those of you who want to know what happened here's the story..

So I had a meeting for work this morning and got there 15 minutes early, parked in the parking spot on the end cause it was semi close and went in. We're eating breakfast and our waitress, Diane (I love her!), comes in and goes that old lady (who's 84) just had an accident and she's in the bushes now. Well we all look out and her car is sitting right next to my car and I go MY CAR..but Diane goes no don't worry it didn't hit it. So we sit back down and keep eating. Well I see the police taking pictures and getting my license plate info and stuff so I look and Nicole and we decide to go out and let them know that's my car. So we got out and sure enough she'd hit my car. She hit the back left side of my car and bent the axle so it wasn't even driveable. So we had to have my car towed and now we just got a call from the auto shop and there's a 95% chance my car is getting totaled...so now I'm without a car and have to start looking for a new one that's cheap! Ugh!

It's been quite a week...holy cow! I'm ready for it to be over..

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning..

Yes indeed...spent 7 hours at work cleaning today. Like SERIOUSLY cleaning!! And just so that they can open us back up tomorrow so that we get to work...bleh! My feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts, my hands are dry and sore from scrubbing and washing....but we now have the cleanest daycare around! UGH!!

What a weekend..

So this weekend so far has been one of my favorites in a long time...

Got to hang out with my mommy alot. I love my mommy =]] and I miss her alot!! Ladies retreat was amazing...had some great times! Learned some really good stuff!! God was definitly at work there!! I'm extremely exhausted now...and tonight I get to stay up late again because I'm going to see one of my daycare kids in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory downtown. I'm excited!! But yea..

Ladies Retreat

It's been an awesome day so far...I can't wait for the rest of today and tomorrow morning!!!

We're doing a murder mystery as our little skit thing this year and my name's Nari Nutrytian...I wonder who killed Calla Rees?? Was it Candy Kane, or maybe Wanda Waitloz...or could it be Dr. Coco Cupcake or Cara Mel?? What about Alli Airobix or Sirius Sweetooth?? Anywho...it's been fun leading singing and playing Nari...I'd definitly do it again!!

God's gonna do a great work...I can feel it!!