Past, present, and future.

I've been thinking alot about my past lately and how my past has brought me to where I am right now. And where is the place I'm at now going to take me in the future?? Who really knows. But I look back to when I was like 5, before my sisters were born, before I started attending First Baptist, before my parents divorced....and wondering how certain things can make a person stronger and other things can completely break a person. I guess when you think about it, you have to be broken at one point or you'll never be stronger.

If a person was to live such a perfect like that they could say, "Yea nothing really bad has ever happened to me. No divorce in my family, no losing friends, no struggling in school...nothing." I honestly don't see how that person is ever going to have an accurate grasp of reality. Because reality is...life sucks. It's not fair. And it's certainly not anywhere near perfect.

I was 12 when my parents divorced, and I guess you could say I took it well. I was never really mad at either one of my parents, I cried once (when I figured out what was going on), I never held a grudge against anyone...then I see kids who's parents have divorced who are mad at the world and who are so emotional that they can't even keep a handle on their emotions day by day. One of my best friends just died a few months back. I cried...alot. But I wasn't angry at him or anyone else for what happened. I was sad for months. I'm still sad. But I'm so much better now, I'm moving on. Then I see people who lose friends and their lives fall apart. They go from the perky, happy, loving kid to the kid who wears black, who always wears their hood, who doesn't talk to anyone anymore, and who never smiles. I don't know why people react so diffferently to different situations...but I have a pretty good idea.

If I was not a christian, I don't think I could've handled alot of the things that have happened in my life...not that there are so many. But I don't see how someone can go through some of the things I've been through or worse and not believe in God and rely on Him for their strength. Without God as my strength I'm not so sure I'd be in the place where I am today and that only makes me want to cling to Him that much more in anticipation of where that will take me in the future. Only God knows...and that's fine with me =]